Vice President of Singapore Maritime Academy Club
People have been asking why was I chosen to be one of the vp.
(I remembered calling farees while he's sailing for help)
I've always love being the treasurer, I love being complimented and the love the lecturers and my past P and VP showered me, how they see the effort I put in.
In all honesty, I never plan to join SMAC anymore after a year of treasury, I thought maybe its time I give my studies full concentration. So I don't know whether I should take up that role or not but they want me to be the vp so much.
When R and I know that we will be the future P and VP, I want to do my best to prove to people. But one person ruined everything. The beginning was horrible, fights nobody knows about other than a few of us. A wants that role so badly he even form petition (even preparing his army haha sounds funny)
I gave them simple options of mine:
a) I take up the vp role, alone or
b) I become treasurer again and he can be the vp all he wants.
(ain't I simple to understand?)
Why nobody wants A as vp anymore? Its because he is already so good on his own, its time to let others try and learn more. But he wants the vp role so much, that I told him I'm willing to give him.
But he don't like the idea of him having that role alone. And I don't want, nobody want to have two vps after last year incidents. He scolded me for being this and that, which idk why he was so mad at me about. R held an interview for the both of us when clearly I don't want that role anymore, but saying its a formality to put A to Club Advisor. In the end he didn't like the result and walked away, and we have to think of a solution to please him. Just for a role (people have to give in just, how selfish)
Then, R came up with the conclusion that both of us be the vps (the only solution to please A) and we can't back out. I told R I don't mind being a treasurer again but she keep on insisting that I become the vp. So yup, I'm stuck. She cared more for her bestfriend's feeling and well, what's mine?
Choosing of vp? The past president have to choose who they want to be the new P and VP. Its a tradition. So actually R shouldn't even hold an interview for the both of us eventhough she is the future president.
Why I don't want to be vp together with him? 'Honestly, in all sincerity, there will be conflicts, biasness and unfairness among us three which will inflict the rest. And he will outshine me, both of us. We've seen that last year, so why is there a need for it again. You said our roles wont clash, but you cant predict. Just like you said, nobody can differentiate personal and work. I'm sorry I would rather give in if he wants that role so much' is what being ignored. My feelings and words to this, who cares right?
This is what I keep telling myself since the start of my journey as Vice President of smac:
Endure sham, one year to go
I shall just concentrate on being a good Vice President, concentrate on the good of the club. Give ideas that is best for club. Help club and mingle with the subcoms. Yes, fake a smile if I have too since they already are faking it. Don't talk about personal things to them, solely club matters.
Think that you being a vp is because you will do well and gain appreciation.
And I'm afraid, I failed in my last sentence.'Respect have to be earn, take your time because I believe I myself is learning along the way. This role is definitely a new big role for me. And for saying that being close with my own members, treating them like close friends is showing that I'm forming my own clique in the club without me realising it. I just hope you realized that President role is just not for you because yeah, he is your bestf so you wont say about him forming his malay community and going out among themselves. Oh wait, you are in that group too.
I really would have did my extreme best if they consider my feelings.
I lose it. Say whatever you want.
'I guess overcoming hurtful things changed us. I tried to find my mistakes, but everything goes back to you. Everything was because of you. Yet, theres no guilty shown on your face. I can forgive countless times, but I can never forget the pain you put me through. And trust me, I tried so hard to let things past. Its hard.'
So now, I can't prove myself? I tried. Those two are bestfriends (like last year's C and E), everything is repeating. They said we won't be like last year, ha ha ha you kidding me? Of course I feel left out, totally left out even decision is only made between the two of them (asking me now and then as a form of formality). Plus the both of them would always meet the lecturers without me knowing and yup, bad impression of me don't you think? Its like, its pointless being a vp if the other vp outshine you. For every events debrief, they have a lot to say, I believe one of the reason would be our age differences, they are 25 with more experience than me. All he said are reasonable and I'm just like wow okay, I shall just sit and listen kind of thing.
You tried so hard but no matter how hard you try it never work out so in the end you just let it past.
And you know whats funny? After putting me thru all these, she still have the cheek to asked me, 'Do you want the vp role or not?' Yup, that president.
Let it all out for I have another semester to survive.
So hey to those who said sham is a bad vp, or asking why is sham the vp and such, you don't know what I've been through and to keep on smiling like everything is fine is really hard for me.
So many times I want to resign from this post, but I'm still holding on.
And yes, I'm not a good vice president aren't I? (but I shall give it another try this one more semester)
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